The Extraordinary Introvert

Wow, I can’t believe I just finished College. 4 years surely went by quickly. Let me rephrase that. 16 years in school seems long on paper, but just look at how each year flew by fast. Obviously, I am still on such an emotional high. It is still so surreal that I wore that badass toga, shook hands with Fr. Jett (University President), got my diploma, framed it pa, traded grad pics and took last minute selfies with my fellow batchmates and graduates. With all due respect to this illustrious ceremony, marching up the stage was actually not the ultimate highlight of the week of my graduation. (DISCLAIMER: Please do understand that I’m not belittling the ceremony. As a matter of fact, it was a moment of immortality and euphoria.) The real highlight of this wonderful season that just recently concluded is this blue rose you see in the picture which was taken 2 days before Graduation. Let me explain why. You see, being this very shy and torpe person, I was not even supposed to go ...

Normally, it would be the other way around. The graduating son would normally be the one receiving letters from his parents. However, besides this week being Mother’s Day, my Dad’s 57th birthday, and my parents’ 23rd Wedding Anniversary, it is only rightful that I switch it up a bit and write my culminating letter to them as I am about to enter “adulthood”. So here it is. Enjoy. Dear Mommy and Daddy, I thank you for the mere fact that you guys met on a random afternoon in SF back in the 90s “at the right time”. Had you two met one day early or one day late, maybe I wouldn’t be here writing this very letter right now. Heck, had you guys not even met at all, I certainly wouldn’t be a human being. However, meeting is barely half the job done. I’m thankful you two worked it out between the first day you met and your wedding day at some wonderful cathedral at New York City. Kung di kayo nagkasunduan, baka wala ako ngayon. I understand there were arguments and frustrations alo...

Lately, I have been super ungrateful to God. I have spent too much time comparing myself with others. I would lurk on Instagram clicking on stories of those whom I follow. I would look at their day and the activities they post, and from there, envy arises. “How I wish I was doing this! “How I wish I was doing that!” A few moments later, I would scroll through Facebook posts of those with 1000+ likes and 100+ comments. Once more, a sense of emptiness and a feeling of envy would inevitably arise. Indeed, I only have myself to blame for the self-inflicted enemy I created, as well as the unnecessary self-pity to which I succumb on certain times and certain days. I recently talked with my mom about my feeling down on myself, and boy was that the most intense and concerned she was. The tone was serious and the message was clear: she did not want me to go down like this. At one point, she even asked me if I would really rather be sucked into the quagmire of self-destructive feelings...

Yesterday felt like the most depressing afternoon of my life. I felt lifeless. It’s as if the weight of the world on my back was too heavy to carry. It was a slow walk to the car. It was a slow drive home. Walang buhay, walang malay at wala nang paki. I was looking down, not giving a damn anymore of what people would think of me. I didn’t care anymore if people thought I was walking stupid, or if I’m just making up my depression. I was just out of it, and I felt emotionless. However, as I stepped out of the car and into our house, the tears began to flow. This magnificent gift of sadness came to my rescue. The moment I saw my parents by the door, I just let it all out. I was so scared to show my scars to them, but sadness was telling me to just let it all out instead of bottling it all inside. This seemed to be what Riley was going through in the movie “Inside Out”.   As she rode the bus that would take her away from their new home, she felt lifeless and emotionless. Her...

Being an introvert is hard, isn’t it? The fact that you’re all alone in the corner, wondering why you don’t have true legit friends, or the fact that you may seem to have “friends”, but they just come and go as time passes. It’s as if you’re always the “Odd Man Out” all the time, and it can be very frustrating so to speak. I am no stranger to this feeling, and I guess that’s what makes me “The Extraordinary Introvert”, as the blog name suggests. You see, life hasn’t been easy for me in terms of the social aspect of it. You’d think that my childhood was “normal”, given the fact that my family life is not too disruptive and my family members are very supportive of me. It’s just that when I leave home, I feel the more striking effects of my introversion. My grade school days were just classes-recess-lunch-dismissal-repeat. However, the in-between intervals were the lonely hours for me. These were spent either sitting in a dark corner of the classroom or walking along the corrid...

I had just finished taking a ten-point quiz, and akalain mo yun, nakakuha akong ng ZERO, BOKYA, NULL SET, ITLOG, you name it. When I had checked and looked around other people’s papers, all I see are 7s, 8s and 9s on the board. Indeed, my parents would say, if the whole class fails, it’s on the teacher, but if you’re the only one who fails, IT’S ON YOU!! And that, I learned harshly today. I can admit to myself that I’m not a good test-taker, but I did not expect to suck that hard on such a relatively easy quiz. Just imagine, being the only guy that didn’t even score a single point. That’s like the only chef getting a 0/5 for cooking raw steak in Chef Ramsay’s cooking challenges in Hell’s Kitchen. That’s like missing 100+ free throws in one game. Heck, I’ve said over and over in this blog, but it’s like getting rejected by girls left and right. So to cut it short, I. SCREWED. UP.   You see, here’s the beauty with failure, especially if you’re the only one experiencing it. ...

The wind pierces through my face as I watch red heart-shaped balloons filling up the sky. I look down on the ground, pretending not to see couples and lovers holding hands, handing out roses and doing all that other lovey duvey bullsh*t. I watch different guys out there surprising their favorite girls, one by one. We’ve come to that time of the year I super hate the most, Valentine Day. Let’s admit it, we all waiting, don’t we? We hate waiting in line. We hate waiting for our test papers to come back so that we can know our scores immediately. For the SJWs (Social Justice Warriors) out there, we hate on “Waiting for the World to Change” (pardon me for the John Mayer reference). Anyways, Valentines is just a day to remind me that I gotta keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting. But more than that, it honestly makes me feel like an EFFIN LOSER at times. I mean just peep the intro. Girl holds hands with boy here, boy gives balloons and flowers to girl there, “I WUW YEW” posts EVE...

Crush is defined as something you “deform, pulverize, or force inwards by compressing forcefully” (thanks, Google). However, if we switch it up to the romantic lenses, this is what you and I feel when we have that deep infatuation toward someone. You like him/her so much that he/she’s the first and only thing that’s on your mind whether you like it or not. On that same token, that’s why hanggang crush lamang yung tawag sa mga tao na sobrang nagugustuhan natin. “Di naman kayo sa huli.” (swerte ka nalang kung yun yung kaso). “Meron naman yang ibang gusto o sinta.” “Di payag yung mga parents natin.” “Hindi pa siya handa.” I guess that’s why we call that boy or girl we like so much a “crush”. At the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, your heart will get “crushed”. But how did we even get here? What gives us these different emotions? Why are there butterflies every time? Why so bubbly? But most of all, ba’t hindi puwede?  STAGE 1: Pakikipagtagpo (Meeting) I was...

Last Sunday, January 20 th , I had one of the scariest falls of my life. As I was walking down from the stairs, I awkwardly slipped on a wet spot I had not seen, thus causing me to nearly do a full-split of sorts. Luckily, no joints were fractured and no legs were broken. Unfortunately, the kneecap area was badly bruised, thus making my entire left leg virtually injured. A lot of questions and anxiety-provoking feelings were felt after that fateful crash from the staircase. It had to happen the night before my very last first day of school of MY ENTIRE LIFE (unless I do masters of course). I was months away from marching, and with thesis and school requirements flooding my anxious self, this injury of mine had to compound my this seemingly long and heavy list of anxieties. It seemed that it was a pre-cursor to how screwed I was or could possibly be this coming semester. It’s as if the accident was a preview of what’s to come for my final ride in College. Applying Ice Pac...

2019 is still very young, and these few weeks have been mostly consisted of rest days for me. However, this down time is much needed, because as we continue on with the year, I will soon be undergoing my own “Birdbox Challenge”. (DISCLAIMER: This is not a movie review and you do not need to put on a blindfold while reading) I’m sure most of you have seen or at least heard of the hit Netflix movie “Birdbox”, starring Sandra Bullock. Honestly, I haven’t been able to watch the film, but after viewing the trailer and glancing over some summaries and movie reviews, I do know that Malorie (Bullock) had to overcome demons, which came  in various forms such as one’s worst fears, deepest sadness and greatest loss.   Now that I think of it, we all experience these. It’s what makes us human, raw and innocent. I understand that we all have our ways to cope with these daily life struggles. However, for me, I picture myself wearing that same blindfold Malorie used to fend off t...