My Own “BIRDBOX” Challenge: The Gifts of Fear and Overcoming It

2019 is still very young, and these few weeks have been mostly consisted of rest days for me. However, this down time is much needed, because as we continue on with the year, I will soon be undergoing my own “Birdbox Challenge”. (DISCLAIMER: This is not a movie review and you do not need to put on a blindfold while reading) I’m sure most of you have seen or at least heard of the hit Netflix movie “Birdbox”, starring Sandra Bullock. Honestly, I haven’t been able to watch the film, but after viewing the trailer and glancing over some summaries and movie reviews, I do know that Malorie (Bullock) had to overcome demons, which came in various forms such as one’s worst fears, deepest sadness and greatest loss.

 

Now that I think of it, we all experience these. It’s what makes us human, raw and innocent. I understand that we all have our ways to cope with these daily life struggles. However, for me, I picture myself wearing that same blindfold Malorie used to fend off the monsters that attempted to kill her and her family. You see, College is about to end in a few months for me, and honestly, I don’t know what life’s got laid out for me. These down days have brought me to some sort of portal with absolutely nothing but empty spaces all around, reminding me that I’m in a total blank slate. And then come the demons, which come from the real world. The murmurs, rumors and questions I got from my relatives overseas unleashed the many fears and uncertainties I’ll inevitably face in the coming months. “Makakagirlpren ka na ba; San ka magtatrabaho pagkatapos grumaduweyt; Magmamasters ka pa ba?” For starters, it’s just playful banter that the “Titos and Titas of Manila” brought upon the dinner table. The many questions and different forms of kamustahan was certainly in full display over the holiday season, and I’m glad that I got to play along with their fun little games while they were around.

 

However, now that we are starting to gain steam with the new year, these very similar questions my relatives posed upon me have caused fear to sneak in a little. I may not show it on the outside, but my internal state of mind is such an internal mess right now. I do have this terrible habit of taking a lot of things seriously, and lightening up a bit was certainly included in my list of New Year’s Resolutions. However, once I march down after my 2 seconds of glory at the stage with my diploma, it’s back to square one for me and the rest of y’all. The only difference is, some, if not most of you may already have your lives planned out, whether by choice or parents’ request. Then you have me, uncertain, unsure, but definitely unfazed by the situation.

 

You see, fear has been the constant brick wall that has hindered me at times. Fear of getting yelled at, fear of disagreeing with my parents, fear of getting rejected, you name it. As much as it is a bad thing to have, contrary to popular belief, it has actually worked toward my favor. Fear has taught me to prepare harder and to become more self-aware with myself. It has taught me to accept other people for what they believe in as well as what their actions may be towards me. Of all the things fear has brought to the table, the most valuable gift it gave me was is that it enabled my full trust and closeness to God. It sounds cliché to the point that almost every devoted Christian I know has said this time and again, but it’s the truth. I may have taken Him for granted most of the time, but I always know that when the dust has settled, He has and will never ever ever let me down. I mean, He Is the only perfect being we’ll ever know of, right? So yeah, I just explained to y’all why fear is important and valuable.

 

BUUUUTT, we can’t stop at just fear itself. Another lesson I gained from this feeling is that I have to overcome it at some point. It becomes a lot more satisfying when you can tell yourself at the end of the day “Hey, thanks fear, for not only being in my life, but for overcoming you”. Just like Bullock, I am still standing right now amidst the scary sh*t that has entered my life, and with 2019 warming up, I expect many trials and tribulations to come my way, thus inflicting fear once more. Though I may not face them with a blindfold, I surely will assure to myself that I will take huge blind leaps and risks regardless of the consequences and rewards that come my way. Regardless of the results, I do know that whatever moves I make will be worth it once I’ve reached the other side.

We Walk by faith, not by sight. - 2 Corinthians 5:7

                                                                   

Here’s to taking risks and conquering our fears. Let’s face ‘em together fam. 

Yours Truly,

Del Ro