Before we all plunge in to a new set of 365 days, allow me to recap to you guys what 2018 was for me. To make things easier, my 2018 recap will come in the form of words. Hehe
Rejection
Ohh yes, you just know I was gonna go there. There was a whole lot of this nung 2018. That girl that I was crushin' on for about a year, REJECTED. That one sem where I was about to dean's list but didn't cos of one D (I was 3.33, and the required grade to meet for DL is 3.35. So close yet so far), REJECTED. Topics and ideas for my history paper, REJECTED. When I try to reach out to a group of friends but can't seem to fit in well cause I'm an introvert or they don't even know I'm around, REJECTED nanaman ako diyan. Even when I play basketball at our local courts, my shots would always be emphatically REJECTED.
Doubt
With all these rejections coming at my way left and right, doubt crept in a lot. They say that your enemy is yourself, and the inner tension that brewed all over me created demons I never thought I'd have. You see, these demons didn't come in huge hideous monsters, but in silent voices telling you "You can't do it", "Sh*t keeps hitting the fan", and my personal fav, "YOU KEEP FCKING UP, so sumuko ka na." Nights were spent crying in my bathroom, and tears that I kept holding back were released. Heck, I think I made a waterfall this year sa dami ng beses kong umiiyak. There's also the element of jealousy. "He's got a girlfriend", "She's got a boyfriend", "Your friends are able to travel alone, while you're stuck pa rin with mommy and daddy", "They've got honors and lots of friends, you don't." These demons kept going on and on and on and on ringing the same sh*t over and over and over again.
Hope
So by now, I'm sure y'all are thinking I'm bidding good riddance to 2018. But on the contrary, I'm not. So what did keep me going? How did I manage to enjoy and survive this seemingly long and never ending year? Friends, this is where HOPE saved me. When we say the word, it's so abstract, and I don't blame you if you had difficulty finding hope given the bleak circumstances. However, the power of this word shielded me against my demons, and gave me a breath of fresh air to breathe on when there were instances of me palpitating and struggling from my inner beasts. God surely delivered this gift to me during my self-inflicted tantrums and tears in those sleepless nights. It was through this hope that kept me afloat thru all the challenges and rejections I experiences throughout 2018.
Joy
My beautipul pamilee
Palma cousins
Bea: an old friend I reconnected with
Hanna: I new friend God gave me
Paoay Church
Tokyo Skyline
New York Subway Station
Me and Christy Altomare as "Anastasia"
As I wrap up the year with this final word, as surprising as it may sound to you, I just wanna say that 2018 wasn't all that bad. Time indeed heals wounds, and imma let the pics do to rest of the talking to show y'all how these memories and people brought me back to full strength after a long and tiring 2018. But before I do go, here's a song that best encapsulates the year that was (2018), and the year that will be (2019). WARNING: ihanda niyo na yung kleenex niyo, iiyak kayo dito. đ
I wish everyone a prosperous and worry-free 2019 ahead.
Being an introvert is hard, isnât it? The fact that youâre all alone in the corner, wondering why you donât have true legit friends, or the fact that you may seem to have âfriendsâ, but they just come and go as time passes. Itâs as if youâre always the âOdd Man Outâ all the time, and it can be very frustrating so to speak. I am no stranger to this feeling, and I guess thatâs what makes me âThe Extraordinary Introvertâ, as the blog name suggests. You see, life hasnât been easy for me in terms of the social aspect of it. Youâd think that my childhood was ânormalâ, given the fact that my family life is not too disruptive and my family members are very supportive of me. Itâs just that when I leave home, I feel the more striking effects of my introversion. My grade school days were just classes-recess-lunch-dismissal-repeat. However, the in-between intervals were the lonely hours for me. These were spent either sitting in a dark corner of the classroom or walking along the corrid...
I had just finished taking a ten-point quiz, and akalain mo yun, nakakuha akong ng ZERO, BOKYA, NULL SET, ITLOG, you name it. When I had checked and looked around other peopleâs papers, all I see are 7s, 8s and 9s on the board. Indeed, my parents would say, if the whole class fails, itâs on the teacher, but if youâre the only one who fails, ITâS ON YOU!! And that, I learned harshly today. I can admit to myself that Iâm not a good test-taker, but I did not expect to suck that hard on such a relatively easy quiz. Just imagine, being the only guy that didnât even score a single point. Thatâs like the only chef getting a 0/5 for cooking raw steak in Chef Ramsayâs cooking challenges in Hellâs Kitchen. Thatâs like missing 100+ free throws in one game. Heck, Iâve said over and over in this blog, but itâs like getting rejected by girls left and right. So to cut it short, I. SCREWED. UP. You see, hereâs the beauty with failure, especially if youâre the only one experiencing it. ...
Last Sunday, January 20 th , I had one of the scariest falls of my life. As I was walking down from the stairs, I awkwardly slipped on a wet spot I had not seen, thus causing me to nearly do a full-split of sorts. Luckily, no joints were fractured and no legs were broken. Unfortunately, the kneecap area was badly bruised, thus making my entire left leg virtually injured. A lot of questions and anxiety-provoking feelings were felt after that fateful crash from the staircase. It had to happen the night before my very last first day of school of MY ENTIRE LIFE (unless I do masters of course). I was months away from marching, and with thesis and school requirements flooding my anxious self, this injury of mine had to compound my this seemingly long and heavy list of anxieties. It seemed that it was a pre-cursor to how screwed I was or could possibly be this coming semester. Itâs as if the accident was a preview of whatâs to come for my final ride in College. Applying Ice Pac...
Comments
Post a Comment