Happy New Year, Part 1: Ano ka, 2018?


 Happy New Year y'all!! 🎊🎆

Before we all plunge in to a new set of 365 days, allow me to recap to you guys what 2018 was for me.  To make things easier, my 2018 recap will come in the form of words. Hehe

Rejection

Ohh yes, you just know I was gonna go there.  There was a whole lot of this nung 2018. That girl that I was crushin' on for about a year, REJECTED. That one sem where I was about to dean's list but didn't cos of one D (I was 3.33, and the required grade to meet for DL is 3.35. So close yet so far), REJECTED. Topics and ideas for my history paper, REJECTED. When I try to reach out to a group of friends but can't seem to fit in well cause I'm an introvert or they don't even know I'm around, REJECTED nanaman ako diyan.  Even when I play basketball at our local courts, my shots would always be emphatically REJECTED. 

Doubt

With all these rejections coming at my way left and right, doubt crept in a lot. They say that your enemy is yourself, and the inner tension that brewed all over me created demons I never thought I'd have. You see, these demons didn't come in huge hideous monsters, but in silent voices telling you "You can't do it", "Sh*t keeps hitting the fan", and my personal fav,  "YOU KEEP FCKING UP, so sumuko ka na." Nights were spent crying in my bathroom, and tears that I kept holding back were released. Heck, I think I made a waterfall this year sa dami ng beses kong umiiyak. There's also the element of jealousy. "He's got a girlfriend", "She's got a boyfriend", "Your friends are able to travel alone, while you're stuck pa rin with mommy and daddy", "They've got honors and lots of friends,  you don't." These demons kept going on and on and on and on ringing the same sh*t over and over and over again. 

Hope 

So by now, I'm sure y'all are thinking I'm bidding good riddance to 2018. But on the contrary, I'm not. So what did keep me going? How did I manage to enjoy and survive this seemingly long and never ending year? Friends, this is where HOPE saved me. When we say the word, it's so abstract, and I don't blame you if you had difficulty finding hope given the bleak circumstances. However, the power of this word shielded me against my demons, and gave me a breath of fresh air to breathe on when there were instances of me palpitating and struggling from my inner beasts. God surely delivered this gift to me during my self-inflicted tantrums and tears in those sleepless nights. It was through this hope that kept me afloat thru all the challenges and rejections I experiences throughout 2018. 

Joy

My beautipul pamilee

Palma cousins

Bea: an old friend I reconnected with

Hanna: I new friend God gave me
Paoay Church

Tokyo Skyline

New York Subway Station

Me and Christy Altomare as "Anastasia" 

As I wrap up the year with this final word, as surprising as it may sound to you, I just wanna say that 2018 wasn't all that bad. Time indeed heals wounds, and imma let the pics do to rest of the talking to show y'all how these memories and people brought me back to full strength after a long and tiring 2018. But before I do go,  here's a song that best encapsulates the year that was (2018), and the year that will be (2019). WARNING: ihanda niyo na yung kleenex niyo, iiyak kayo dito.  😭 


I wish everyone a prosperous and worry-free 2019 ahead. 

Yours truly, 
DEL RO :) 


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